You may be toxic to people around you and not even know it. If you find yourself being left out in conversations, or people stop talking after you enter a room, or people not looking at you when talking to a group of people – you just may be unbearable. If so, here are some things that you may be doing to make people hate you:
6) You are too competitive. If a coworker gets a promotion, you feel jealous. This quality of yours is very transparent. Deep downyou feel inferior. Life is not a zero sum game. News flash: What happens to other people is not always about you. You will get your time in the sun. Let someone else get their turn. Don’t compete, collaborate.
5) You are selfish. You take credit for other people’s contributions. There is probably nothing more annoying to people than someone else taking credit for their hard work. This only works in the short term because people will see through it. Stop being in it for yourself. Give others credit – you will win them over and will also earn a someone who becomes your advocate.
4) You are too quick to criticize, slow to praise. This may be part of your own insecurity. When you praise someone, you are not saying they are better than you. They will not think of themselves as being superior, you will endear yourself to the other person. They will think of you as being genuine, and sincere. It is a great way to make a friend and a supporter who will find it easier to praise you.
3) You can’t Take criticism. No need to get defensive. It takes guts to provide constructive criticism to someone. Anyone that gives it to you needs to be praised not bashed by you. They care enough about you to take the time to help you be better than you already are. Think of criticism as an opportunity to exceed your expectations of yourself.
2) You take no responsibility for bad results. You blame bad results on circumstances or on other people. Stop acting like the victim. Take blame for bad results. It makes your claims to great results more credible. You are not a victim. No one is out to get you. You will endear yourself by admitting your mistakes.
1) You gossip too much. Unless it is praise, Stop talking about others behind their back. This is really just a reflection of your own insecurity. Speaking negatively about others does not make you look more positive. It makes you look judgmental. And this is the type of person that most people want to avoid – why? Because it means to them that you are judging them too.
Citations:
Excerpts from Harvard Business Review
Excerpts from Journal of Consumer Psychology
Excerpts from Studies conducted at the following Colleges:
Ohio State University
University of Michigan
University of Illinois
Washington State University
University of Zurich
Michigan State University
University of Minnesota
